No Fakers
by CaptainPiika
Summary: It was really strange to see what a different appearance could do for a hedgehog. Sonic had expected walking around in Shadow's body to totally suck. But now, he was finding that he could do things he'd normally never do... things he'd normally never even dream of.
1. Moving Through Your Mind

_AN: Body swapping stories are usually lacking. They're played for comedic relief, rarely delving into anything deeper than a puddle in the desert. This story hopes to deviate from that, and create something decent as a result. I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

**NO FAKERS**

_You and I are the same in the way that we have our own styles and we won't change._  
_ Yours is filled with evil and mine is not, there is no way I can lose._

* * *

He felt like puking.

Sure, chaos control always induced a sense of vertigo. Hurtling through time and space would do that to a guy. But it usually wasn't so intense that Sonic actually collapsed after the trip, panting heavily, feeling as if his eyes had detached from their sockets. That wasn't the only thing, though. Sonic knew the instant he hit the ground that something was wrong.

He'd heard a rather unfamiliar clunk resonate with him upon impact. The normal rush of adrenaline he had from running all the time was gone, replaced with something vile, almost _alien_ pulsing through him. His breathing was rough; not at all like he had come to know it. It was like he wasn't even himself.

And that was when Shadow spoke.

"What an _amateur—_"

Sonic tensed immediately. Shadow did as well. _That was not Shadow's voice_. Slowly, both hedgehogs raised their heads, fearful that their eyes would confirm their fears. When green met red, time stopped for the second time that day.

Of the few times he'd traveled by emerald before, this time certainly took the cake.

* * *

**Chapter One: Moving Through Your Mind**

* * *

"I—I didn't think this would happen, really!" said Sonic, pacing quickly. Shadow's heavy boots clunked with each step he took, unsettling him further by the second.

Shadow scowled. Normally, such an action was par for the course for Shadow, but Sonic couldn't help but shudder as he saw his own eyebrows, his own eyes, and his own face scrunch up in anger. Blue and green replaced black and red, and for once, Sonic could understand why people thought he and Shadow looked alike.

"What were you thinking?" Shadow seethed, fists clenched. "You've induced chaos control, what, once? Twice? What made you think you could do something as complicated as chaos controlling it out of my hand?"

Sonic grimaced, stealing a glance at the purple emerald that lay carelessly on the pavement of Central City, which was a convenient place to end up considering the emerald's volatility. "I wasn't trying to warp it away. I just made a grab for it."

Shadow's expression was more than incredulous. Sonic suddenly realized how stupid and _weak_ he was being and glared back.

"Oh, come on, Shadow! You were the one who said 'chaos control'!"

Shadow rolled his eyes (No, that wasn't right, they were Sonic's eyes. Shadow _stole his eyes_.). "Only to get away from you. You had to have been thinking of using it, otherwise the emerald wouldn't have caused _this_ to happen."

"So it's _my_ fault, then?" Sonic asked, affronted.

"As it always is," Shadow replied.

"Listen, faker," Sonic spat, his blood boiling. The deep, methodical, totally-not-Sonic voice he was currently speaking with didn't help. "All I needed was one lousy emerald. I asked nicely—"

Shadow scoffed. "Like I'd ever let you just take an emerald from me! Either way, there are seven, you know, you could have looked for another—"

"Yours was closest!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the laziest thing alive, too!"

The two hedgehogs glared at each other. Never before had Sonic felt such an intense feeling of hatred overwhelm him, entice him with violence and enrage him even more. If this was what Shadow went through on a daily basis…

"Look," Sonic said steadily, summoning all the willpower he could to keep him from punching Shadow in the face. (He didn't want to blemish his own snazzy mug, after all.) "Why don't I take the emerald… and try to do what I did before again. Maybe it'll reverse this mess."

Shaking his head, Shadow scooped up the emerald. "Unfortunately, Sonic, I don't trust you with this '_mess_'."

Sonic's eyes widened. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"Figuring things out for myself," Shadow replied coolly, tossing the emerald in his hand. "Goodbye, Sonic. Chaos control!"

And suddenly, Shadow was gone. The asshole.

Sonic rubbed his forehead with a groan. Great, just great. Of all the things to have gone wrong with everyday emerald hunting, it had to be this, didn't it? Sonic looked at his arm in disdain.

Black, with a red stripe down the middle. Gloves with rings and other unnecessary add-ons. Rocket-boot-things that wouldn't stop clunking. Sonic was in Shadow's body, and had no idea how to get out.

It certainly didn't help that Shadow was now, to Sonic's knowledge, parading around in _his_ body as true and blue as could be, irritated but otherwise unscathed. Seriously, how could Shadow act so casually about everything? It was a complete and total nightmare, one of Sonic's worst. At least he still had his speed…

Sonic blinked. He broke out into a dash.

…Or tried to.

"Gah!" Sonic exclaimed as he tripped and fell, face first onto the rough pavement. Stupid Shadow shoes, only they would make someone like him trip over his own feet. He got up hastily, once again feeling aggravation beyond what was standard for him. Great.

He breathed, trying to calm himself down. Gingerly, he took a step forward, going as slow as he had patience for. Thankfully, Sonic did not lose his balance and fall this time. After a few steps of that, he quickened the pace to a brisk walk, carefully watching his feet clunk along. Clunk, clunk, clunk. How utterly annoying.

As Sonic got faster, he wondered how Shadow could wear these and go so fast. Not that the faker was anything close to what Sonic was, but Sonic couldn't deny he had a… greater than average speed, at the very least. Meanwhile, the shoes were so foreign to Sonic compared to his regular ones that he was sure they were draining his energy or something. There was no way the fastest thing alive would ever go _this_ slow.

Sonic attempted a jog, no longer watching below him and instead keeping his head up to avoid any potential collisions. What the heck. Shadow went faster than this, didn't he? What was the problem, here?

That was it. Sonic burst into a run once more, awaiting the feel of the rushing wind going past his quills; the ground pounding the soles of his shoes. The rhythm of the run, the one thing he lived for more than anything else – but he didn't get it. All he felt was a tiny breeze blow by his face, not even strong enough to push back a quill or two. If this was a rush, then he wasn't Sonic.

He stopped. He looked down at the shoes.

_Shadow didn't run_.

The black hedgehog's speed was artificial, just like the rest of him. There was no natural talent or rigorous exercise pumped into these legs, no waking up at sunrise for a run around the world. These legs were stronger than average, they had to be from all the skating, but they were nowhere near capable enough to perform the frictionless footwork Sonic was known for.

In short, he'd lost his speed. It really was a living nightmare.

Sonic closed his eyes, his mind in a frenzy. What the hell was he going to do? Without his speed he was as useless as a bird with clipped wings, especially since he had no idea how to work the shoes or even use Shadow's chaos powers. Sitting around and waiting for Shadow to solve everything didn't sit right with his head or with his stomach; it was like giving up. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. That was the way to live. The only way.

He frowned, eyes still closed, and tapped the heavy shoes on the pavement, as if he was warming up. Clunk, clunk. His eyes opened slowly, taking in the path before him. It was a basic, flat road, and thankfully not part of Speed Highway or similar. It was simple to pinpoint where he was specifically; he'd passed this part of town almost daily. All right, then.

Sonic took a deep breath, and ran, at normal speed, to Tails's workshop.


	2. Your Fears and Pain

_AN: Meant to have this done a while ago. Sorry. That might happen a lot. At least it's summer now, so I have more free time._

* * *

When the yellow fox opened the door, Sonic was grateful. His chest was on fire from all the running, burning more than a hit from the Death Egg. He could barely speak, making it difficult for Tails to understand why Shadow the Hedgehog appeared to be invading his workshop, doubled over in pain. In a few minutes, thankfully, he'd recovered enough to start explaining, and managed to convey his message to the perplexed fox without too much difficulty.

"Tails," Sonic wheezed, "I'm stuck in Shadow's body."

* * *

**Chapter Two: Your Fears and Pain**

* * *

"I don't think I understand," Tails said, his face scrunched up in contemplation. "You tried to take the emerald, Shadow tried to warp away, and you ended up going with him?"

Sonic, seated on a chair and longing for a power nap, nodded. "I think I touched it at the last possible second or something."

"And then when you were back on solid ground, you were in Shadow's body?" Tails frowned.

"And he was in mine," Sonic added. Did Tails not see the importance of that particular detail?

The fox sighed, his two tails swishing. "Okay…" he said, turning around to a worktable. He began picking up various devices. "That's pretty weird. But the emeralds have done weirder things before." He turned one of the gadgets on, causing it to start beeping.

"Tell me about it," Sonic muttered, his eyes narrowing. "So, what do we do?"

"First of all," Tails said, "we figure out if you're really Sonic."

"What?" Sonic shouted, his voice still hoarse. "You don't trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Sonic! I just want to make sure," Tails grinned.

Sonic opened his mouth to protest, but Tails's machine let out a quick beep and Tails turned it off. "I'm just taking a couple tests to see if I can determine what really happened."

"I've already told you the story," Sonic said, eyebrows raised. Tails shook his head.

"No way! Sonic, there's a lot more detail than what you've told me, there's got to be! For example, did you and Shadow swap bodies? Or did you swap minds? Or is it something else entirely?" The fox pulled machinery from every nook and cranny one could possibly cram something into and waved them in front of Sonic's face.

Crossing his arms, Sonic sunk lower into his chair. "Bodies or minds, it's the same difference. The most important thing is finding Shadow and making sure he doesn't muck up my reputation."

Tails punched some numbers into a keypad. "Any idea where he is?"

"No, he disappeared and took the emerald with him. Thinks he can figure out everything by himself," Sonic scoffed.

Tails chuckled. "You're a lot like that too, Sonic."

"Shut up," Sonic said, but Tails's smirk was enough to keep him from taking the comment seriously. Well, that was good. At least Sonic knew one way to keep his crazy emotions in check.

"Well," Tails said, "for now, we should try and get another emerald. Maybe even a few more, just in case. There's no doubt in my mind we'll need them to fix this situation."

"Got it," said Sonic.

Tails nodded. "I'd also like to take a look at those shoes you're wearing, if that's okay. I'd love to see how they work."

Sonic shrugged. "Sure," he said, reaching down to undo them, but Tails beat him to it with a speed that was impressive, even by Sonic's standards.

"Thanks Sonic!" Tails said giddily. "Oh! I almost forgot. Why were you trying to take an emerald from Shadow in the first place?"

Grinning, Sonic held his hands up in the air. "What, forget already? You needed an emerald to power that sweet little Tornado of yours. I was just doing you a favour!"

Tails blinked. "Sonic."

"Ya-huh?" Sonic grinned.

"I… I asked you that favour a month ago," The fox's tails flicked.

"I said I'd do it eventually," Sonic replied.

Shaking his head, Tails walked to the doorway. "Sonic, sometimes… Come on, let's figure out how to work these things, okay?" Tails said, gesturing to Shadow's shoes. Sonic nodded, following him deeper into the workshop.

* * *

"Are you ready for this, Sonic?" Typical Tails, always concerned. Sonic couldn't help but give him a cocky grin along with a thumbs up.

"Tails, I was born ready," Sonic said, already stretching in preparation. He wondered for a second whether he should change his stretches from his normal ones – he wasn't going running like he usually was, after all – but he figured legs were legs and the right muscles would be warmed up regardless.

"Right," said Tails. "Okay. You know where we are."

"Central City, Main Street," Sonic said, taking a glance around. "I've only been through here a million times. Couldn't we have gone somewhere interesting? Like… I don't know, Mazuri?"

Tails shook his head. "No, Sonic. The point is that you've been here a million times. You know the city by heart, meaning you should be able to adapt to Shadow's running style more easily. Familiar terrain, right?"

Sonic shrugged casually. "It's not like I haven't been to Mazuri a lot, either."

"It's late, though," Tails said, waving at the darkening sky. "I don't want to fly there and back just to do a two minute test."

"Imagine that. You, not wanting to fly?" Sonic chided, closing his eyes and putting his hands behind his head. He frowned, feeling Shadow's more rigid quills getting in the way. How did Shadow sleep comfortably, anyway? On his stomach? Sonic didn't sleep on his stomach. He sighed internally.

Tails rolled his eyes. "Are you going to start running or what?" asked Tails in irritation.

"No need to ask twice," Sonic said, and before Tails could blink, he was off… sort of.

Truthfully, Sonic didn't have that much experience with skating in general. Aside from places like Ice Cap and the like, he didn't go far enough north to be near ice. Amy had dragged him skating _once_, but even then, he was wearing his regular shoes. (Speaking of, he needed to get those beauties back. Shadow didn't deserve to be wearing them.) Shadow's shoes, while not regular skates, did control like them, at least according to Tails. Apparently the only trick to them was to do it right.

Sonic started off practically walking, and soon discovered that he would go nowhere. All he appeared to be doing was dragging his feet along the road, and if anything it made him slower. He muttered something unintelligible and attempted to speed up, but to no avail. He stopped, frustrated.

"Does he— does he just go from zero to sixty in a second?" Sonic said, wondering aloud. "Or, well, more like zero to three hundred and sixty. Yeah."

Tails, who had flown up from behind, had his face in a device. "I'm not sure, to be honest. I never really watched him too closely."

Sonic tapped his foot, stopping immediately as soon as the infuriating clunk made its comeback. "I get how to do that as me. I mean, that's easy. But if you have to skate… the friction…"

"Friction?" said Tails incredulously, and the fox let out a laugh. "Since when have you paid attention to friction?"

"I laugh in friction's face," Sonic agreed, "but Shadow—"

"Probably doesn't give a hoot about scientific impossibilities either," Tails finished for him. "He calls himself the Ultimate Lifeform for a reason."

"Peh! How is this ultimate? My body's way better," said Sonic bitterly. He shook out his arms. "All right. I'm going to speed up. Last time I did that I fell flat on Shad's ugly face, but you leave me with no other options."

"Good luck," said Tails. Sonic nodded.

All right. He'd done this before, plenty of times, he barely needed to think about it. Yeah, no worries, nothing special, just moving at the speed of sound to kill some time. He knew he wasn't going to go that fast, not like this, but the process was still the same. Left right, left right, one two, one two. He was Sonic. Nothing could change that.

Ready… Go, blast off, boost, and start with a bang!

Sonic actually activated the rockets this time, which _did_ help immensely. With a laugh of victory, Sonic began to feel the new rhythm of the run. Okay, so it was skating… Kind of. It felt more like weaving than anything else, considering he moved in a zigzag more than a straight line. Oddly, the only thing that came to mind after thinking that was how strange light dashing would be. He'd have to line up perfectly, or else risk veering off course.

Sonic watched his feet. Well, they weren't blurs yet. That was disappointing. At least he was moving again, though. He glanced upwards and saw Tails filming him from the sky. Smart; it would really help to have a reference to improve off of. Sonic grinned. So far, so good. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

Looping the course a couple of times, Sonic began to feel pretty good. Not dragging the shoes along made a huge difference in his stamina as well as his mood. (If he heard another clunk, he was going to hit someone. Hard.) He almost thought he could get used to them, if the time ever called for not running normally. Not that that ever—

Extreme Gear.

Sonic remembered that— a while ago, Shadow had entered an Extreme Gear race for some reason or another (Sonic couldn't be bothered to care). If he remembered correctly, Shadow didn't even use a hover board, instead opting for his regular shoes. They worked, somehow. That was _genius_.

"Hey Tails!" Sonic called. "Feel like duplicating these things?"

"What?" asked Tails, peeking out from behind the monitor on his recording device. "You want a pair?"

"For special occasions only of course," Sonic clarified, winking. "I think they'd be pretty handy, what do you say?"

"Uh… sure?" Tails said, frowning. "I thought you hated these shoes."

Sonic shrugged. He was far less annoyed with them now that they were working. Obviously he still preferred his one of-a-kinds, but he didn't hate Shadow's shoes. At least when they weren't making the most annoying sound known to mankind. Though, honestly, "scrape-scrape" was just as bad as "clunk-clunk".

"Well… okay," Tails said, shrugging as well, "I guess I'll see what I can do. You'll have to lend them to me for a while first, though, okay?"

Sonic nodded. "Sure thing, Tails. Tell you what, I'll go for a spin and catch up with you at your workshop later. Okay, see ya!"

"Wait!" He heard Tails shout from behind, but Sonic was already long gone. Finally getting into the groove of things, he slid off Tails's course and headed for the heart of the city. He didn't have a real destination in mind, but Sonic had places to go and he was darn well going to see them. Grinning, he rushed down the road.

The street had a relatively steep slope, which did wonders to increase Sonic's speed. Along with a couple of turns to practice his drifting, Sonic was in heaven. Aw yeah, this was his turf. He had so many memories down this particular sun-streaked road, and even if he was Shadow for this one, the thrill was still the same.

Straight, right, left, straight, left, straight, up, over, and grind the rail, dodge the robot that had long since stopped being there, keep going, grind more rails, hop, hop, through that gate and back on the street. Straight, right, up those stairs, straight, left, down more rails (oh man what a _rush_), on through until the park, breeze through there and round a loop—

Oh yeah, baby. Running straight down a building, that's what he lived for. No quick thinking or remembering directions, just a few seconds of _leisure_—

Launch off, grab the pole, swing around and shoot for the sun in the sky, a hop, skip and a jump, _rails_, exhilarating _rails_, another pole to swing around, and then, the final stretch.

Sonic let out a laugh. This was probably, no, it had to be his best run through Central City _ever_. There wasn't a single thing short of perfection today. He'd gone through that as smoothly as the sand felt at Emerald Coast. It was brilliant, awesome, outstanding, amazing! If he could keep on doing stuff like this, it'd be like nothing ever changed!

Screeching to a halt, Sonic clenched his fists, feeling pumped. Aw yeah. Pessimism wasn't going to get him down, not now, not ever. There was no way he'd ever be dragged down into misery, just because of something the faker or the doctor or anyone did. Sonic the Hedgehog didn't work that way. Right, he was a lean, mean, speeding machine, and his slick blue strides impressed everyone for miles—

"SONIC!"

Oh, _badniks_.

* * *

_(For those wondering, the directions Sonic takes are straight from Sonic Adventure 2. Yes, I actually wrote down the course he takes through City Escape. _ )_


	3. Why You Can't Help But Follow

_AN: ...Yeah. You can thank Meagan Snow for motivating me to actually write the next chapter. I apologize. I'm not the best with self-imposed deadlines. Here it is! No Fakers: Chapter Three!_

* * *

He tried to dash immediately, but of course he couldn't do that. His meager strides attempted to get him out of harm's way, but unfortunately he was caught by the bear-hugging creature he knew he'd never escape. Amy Rose. Of course. He made to grab Amy's arms and shake her off, as always— Wait a minute.

The pink hedgehog embraced him tightly, her firm grip not loosening in the slightest. "Oh Sonic, I've been looking everywhere for you! Do you know how long it can take to track you down sometimes? I mean, sheesh, you could tell me every once in a while where you're going to be…"

Lost in her babbling, Amy was apparently blind. Sonic closed his eyes halfway, not too impressed with her. Was she really _that_ obsessed with him? Sighing, he cleared his throat and said very clearly, "Amy."

Amy blinked, her face scrunching in confusion before she turned her head up to meet his face. "Ah! Shadow!" she screeched, letting him go like a sack of hot coal. She took a few steps backward, her hand to her mouth. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh… I'm so sorry, Shadow! I can't believe I did it again!"

* * *

**Chapter Three: Why You Can't Help But Follow**

* * *

Sonic raised an eyebrow in amusement. He'd never seen Amy look so embarrassed. "You've actually done that more than once?" he scoffed, trying to stifle his laughter. Oh, wow. That was rich. Amy was colour blind, or at the very least, really dumb. The hilarity.

"Uh, yeah," Amy said sheepishly, crossing her legs. "Remember? When I first met you…?"

Sonic had no idea that Shadow and Amy even spoke to each other, ever, but he rolled with it. "Oh. Yeah."

There was an awkward silence, which incidentally was something Sonic didn't usually experience when talking to Amy. She was usually prattling on about a date or something. But here she was, instead looking incredibly stupid. Which she was.

Come on. She mistook _Shadow_ for _him_? He almost started laughing again.

"Um, you're pretty cheerful today, Shadow," Amy noted, her eyes widening. "Why's that? Oh! Is it your birthday?"

Pfft. The mental image of Shadow in a party hat was almost too much to bear. "Ah, no. No it's not. Um, look, Amy, I'm kind of busy right now—"

"Oh! Are you on a mission for G.U.N.? What is it? Can I help? I mean, I feel really bad for my mistake just now, and I'd like to make it up to you, if you'd let me!" So it wasn't just Sonic's privacy Amy regularly invaded. Well, despite that, it was actually kind of nice talking to Amy as someone else. He could breathe, for one.

He was about to respond when he saw Tails flying up from behind her. "Tails!" he said quickly, wondering if Tails would support the mini masquerade he was currently having. It would certainly be nice if he did; the less time he spent with Amy stuck to him the better. (Okay, maybe he was exaggerating a _little_ – no. No he wasn't. This was great.)

Tails noticed Amy and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, hi Amy. What are you doing here?"

Amy giggled. "Oh, uh, nothing! I just ran into Shadow here and decided to say hi!" Sonic rolled his eyes.

Sensing what was going on, Tails nodded. "I see. I was just helping Shadow test run his shoes. Um… how'd they work, Shadow?"

Sonic grinned. "They're perfect, thanks."

Amy stood there for a second before laughing again, nervously. "Well, um, I'd better get going. Nice seeing you, Tails, Shadow!"

"You too," said Tails, and they watched her leave in a hurry, scurrying around the corner off to do whatever. Tails turned around immediately, glaring.

"Sonic! I don't like lying, and you shouldn't either!"

Sonic threw his arms in the air. "Sorry, Tails, but I don't exactly want everyone to know what happened. Think of what would happen if Eggman got word of this!"

Tails crossed his arms, frowning. "But Amy is a friend. She'd never tell Eggman."

"Amy is also _leaving me alone_," Sonic said, "which, actually, is refreshing. Besides, it's not like she can do anything to help me if she knew the truth."

"Amy wouldn't lie to you," Tails said.

"Really? Because she just lied back there," Sonic said, gesturing with his thumb. "She did _not_ run into me to say hi. She ran into me because she thought I was Sonic. Which I am. I mean… you know what I mean."

Tails blinked, genuinely shocked. "What? She thought you were… well, you?"

"I know, crazy, right?" Sonic scoffed. He stretched his arms. "Get this: apparently it wasn't the first time, either."

Tails shook his head. "I don't know how she would think that. But anyway," Tails glanced at Shadow's shoes, "those work okay, then?"

Sonic nodded, giving a thumbs up. "As sweet as Sweet Mountain, buddy. I could use a little more practice, but I think I've got the hang of them."

"That's great!" said Tails. "It's a good thing you're a fast learner."

"The fastest," Sonic bragged, grinning. "Though it's really not that hard. It's just a different style."

"Hm," Tails said, putting his hand to his chin. "Well, you _have_ always been pretty adaptable when you need to be, haven't you? When do you want me to make you a pair of your own?"

"Later," Sonic answered, looking around. "Amy interrupted my running time. I want to cruise around for a little longer."

"Okay, that's fine," Tails said, smiling. He fiddled with the video camera he was still holding and took off a part, handing it to Sonic.

"What's this?" Sonic asked, looking at the part in his hand. It was circular, with a screen, and looked a little familiar.

Tails grinned. "An emerald radar! I already told you that I think we need some chaos emeralds to fix this. This radar should make tracking them down easier."

Sonic tossed the radar in the air and caught it, much to Tails's dismay. "Great. Why didn't you give me this when I needed to find an emerald for the Tornado?"

"I thought you could find just one on your own without getting into trouble," Tails replied, smirking. "Guess I was wrong."

Sonic chuckled and ruffled the fox's hair. "Snarky. I like it. Thanks!"

"No problem. I'll see you later, then?"

"You bet!"

"Okay. Bye, Sonic!"

* * *

After another hour or so of running around the city, taking in the view, and smashing crates, Sonic heard a faint buzz. It sounded like television static or something similar, except he wasn't near a TV, and it followed him everywhere he went. Unless Shadow really was an android after all, Sonic had no idea what could possibly be making the noise. How annoying. He was having such a good time, too. He scratched his head, frowning.

…Hold up.

Sonic pulled his hand back, narrowing his eyes. His wrist, huh? Shadow did have a lot of accessorizing going on with his gloves. Sonic tapped the golden ring, but the static didn't change. Well, then, maybe the red part?

The noise stopped, only to be replaced by someone's angry half-yells. _"Agent Shadow! You have a mission!"_

Sonic raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

_"This is no time for joking around,"_ the voice said. _"You are to report to Central City G.U.N. Base immediately for debriefing."_

Sonic smirked. "And if I don't?"

_"You're fired."_

Sonic frowned. Government agents weren't very fun. He tapped his foot. He really didn't feel like doing Shadow's job for him, but it'd be a jerk move to get someone fired like that. But what did he care if he was a jerk to Shadow? He was _always_ a jerk to Shadow. Oh, what can a hedgehog do…?

_"Agent Shadow,"_ the voice said.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I'll be there," Sonic said, scratching his ear. Lame. He had no idea what sort of work G.U.N. missions entailed, since Shadow had never been very clear about his motives whenever they happened to run into each other. Didn't G.U.N. hate him, anyway? He thought that after the whole Eclipse Cannon mishap that the government wouldn't be too keen on the Ultimate Lifeform, but then again, there _was_ that whole alien thing…

People seemed to want to forget about that.

The transmission cut out, and Sonic found his frown deepening. For Shadow, being a G.U.N. agent was just a regular job, but for Sonic, it was unpaid and unwanted community service. He was all for helping people out, but not based on the military's standards. G.U.N. sucked. Who would want to work for an army that couldn't tell black from blue?

He sighed, but nonetheless sped off to the military headquarters. Hey, at least he knew where it was. He'd been through the city way too many times not to know that.

* * *

"This would have been easier if you'd just told me the mission over the phone," Sonic said flatly as he waltzed into the plain, concrete office room of the G.U.N. base. Talk about drab. Aside from the G.U.N. logo plastered on every steel furnishing in existence, there was next to no colour in the sorry place. He knew governments had to be formal and all, but who said that formal had to be so gray?

"Mission objectives are confidential. Only in the event of an emergency is an agent ever to be debriefed through communication lines," said the official sitting at his boring desk.

Man, this guy sounded as stiff as a wooden board. "Uh huh. What do I have to do? Catch a baddie? Arrest a thief?"

The man's expression didn't change, but Sonic could tell he'd pushed his patience. "We need you to gather the chaos emeralds and bring them here for safekeeping."

Sonic laughed. He knew it was a mistake, but he couldn't help it. "Are you serious? What do you want them for?"

The officer narrowed his eyes. "The chaos emeralds have been the cause of several international crises over the last few years. We have come to the decision that locking them away is the best solution to prevent any future attacks on the United Federation, as well as the rest of the world."

"And your security system is going to make sure of that?" Sonic asked, a grin forming. "You know, I think some of the emeralds were in your possession during a world crisis or two, and the world nearly ended anyway."

"Do not think that because you are you, your comments today will be ignored," said the G.U.N. officer, changing the topic. "If you continue to speak in such a brazen manner, your position will be revoked."

"All right, fine," Sonic said. "I'll get all the chaos emeralds. I was going to do that anyway." Wow, how did Shadow deal with Bossy McPushypants? See, this was why being the fastest thing alive was great. Sonic didn't have anyone telling him what to do.

"Bring them to the base one by one as you collect them," said the officer. "We will handle locking them inside our security systems."

"Right…" said Sonic. Mm. That spelled trouble already, putting them all in the same place like that. If they wanted to keep the emeralds safe, away from villains like the doctor or whatever, the best place would be a special zone, wouldn't it? As far as he knew, only Sonic and his close friends managed to get through those trippy places properly. He didn't even know if Shadow knew about them.

"Do you have any emeralds in your possession now?" asked the G.U.N. officer. Sonic frowned.

"No," he said, allowing the bitterness to seep into his voice.

"Very well. We expect this mission to be done as quickly and efficiently as possible."

They wanted quick and efficient? Asking someone like Sonic to do those things was like asking a normal person to breathe. "Okay. Can I go now?"

The officer nodded. Sonic left as quickly as he could, skating out of the office as if it was on fire. The sooner he got out of Steel City, the better.

He supposed he was pretty lucky, all things considered. G.U.N. couldn't bother him while he was doing his regular business because they wanted the chaos emeralds as much as he did. Plus, it wasn't like they'd be able to verify if he took them to Tails's place first. He grinned. Aw yeah, take that, Guardian Units of Nations. Whatever that meant.

As he rounded a corner, Sonic heard another mystery noise, but it wasn't coming from the hidden government communicator. He blinked for a second before pulling out the circular device Tails gave him.

The emerald radar was beeping.

* * *

_I don't know much about how the military works, and the Sonic games don't exactly explain, either. Hopefully my understanding of the military in Fullmetal Alchemist makes for something believable. :P_


End file.
